Having every summer off allows me time for home projects. I have a mental list of goals & expectations of what I want to complete. Originally I wanted to paint my kitchen & dining room, which I did -- TWICE. The first color was too dark, the second was too light. I was beginning to feel like Goldilocks. I could not find my just right. Subsequently, all of the samples were either too blue or too gray or too something. I really needed to step back from it all. So I did, for a YEAR! It's bad when the background of Christmas photos looks like the Sherwin-Williams sample wall.
My previous summers were filled with painting every wall in my house, to the point where my husband joked that we had lost square footage. It was a place I could go "project-wise" and know I could get it done. The realization that a familiar deed, somehow, turned on me & left me in the lurch. What to do? When it's bad it takes all the joy out of the project!
I was stuck! This never happens to me. I make a decision & live with it. This situation however threw me for a loop. It may have been the paint or the lack of a paint decision that sparked this, but there were subtle life shifts that brought me to this place. I gave myself permission to finally be alone in my home & to think - to take pause. The best way to describe it would be a mental rebellion. I didn't read books, I didn't work on projects, I just was. My youngest child moved away & I got a minute to think. That minute ended up turning into an entire summer. It was the first time in my adult life to be alone in my home with only my husband (who thankfully went to work everyday).
There wasn't the frantic rush to complete project after project & entertain the masses. Being married to the eldest son of a large family, in close proximity, creates an extended household. It was not uncommon for us to have a sibling living here. Not to mention friends of the children coming & going (and eating). But last summer, it was all about me & Netflix. Call me a binger!
I felt satisfied in allowing myself time to ponder the paint. It took me a year to realize that it wasn't the paint that had me stuck. It was me. I needed time to adjust from being the mom to being me. It is natural to be in the mom role. The hard part is rolling out.
This summer, I made a decision. It feels good to get paint on the walls & move forward. The familiarity of the instant gratification of paint helped me to finally re-establish my sense of being. Paint & Neflix are now balanced -- all is good in the universe!
My previous summers were filled with painting every wall in my house, to the point where my husband joked that we had lost square footage. It was a place I could go "project-wise" and know I could get it done. The realization that a familiar deed, somehow, turned on me & left me in the lurch. What to do? When it's bad it takes all the joy out of the project!
I was stuck! This never happens to me. I make a decision & live with it. This situation however threw me for a loop. It may have been the paint or the lack of a paint decision that sparked this, but there were subtle life shifts that brought me to this place. I gave myself permission to finally be alone in my home & to think - to take pause. The best way to describe it would be a mental rebellion. I didn't read books, I didn't work on projects, I just was. My youngest child moved away & I got a minute to think. That minute ended up turning into an entire summer. It was the first time in my adult life to be alone in my home with only my husband (who thankfully went to work everyday).
There wasn't the frantic rush to complete project after project & entertain the masses. Being married to the eldest son of a large family, in close proximity, creates an extended household. It was not uncommon for us to have a sibling living here. Not to mention friends of the children coming & going (and eating). But last summer, it was all about me & Netflix. Call me a binger!
I felt satisfied in allowing myself time to ponder the paint. It took me a year to realize that it wasn't the paint that had me stuck. It was me. I needed time to adjust from being the mom to being me. It is natural to be in the mom role. The hard part is rolling out.
This summer, I made a decision. It feels good to get paint on the walls & move forward. The familiarity of the instant gratification of paint helped me to finally re-establish my sense of being. Paint & Neflix are now balanced -- all is good in the universe!
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